though this is not a new realization, it's a constant feeling that has
been with me since before I even started this blog. This loneliness
and hunger. Not hunger for food, though I've tried to quiet it with
such, but an unknown hunger. Something is missing in me and I don't
like it.
On the outside things seem to be going fine, it's the struggle within
that hacks at me from within. I ache to know it's origin! TELL ME WHAT
YOU ARE! SO I CAN FIX YOU! FILL YOU! QUIET YOU!
All day today I've felt alone. Hell-I've been alone. I'm losing my
distractions...school, blogs, homework, twitter...nothing is keeping
me today. I don't want to do anything but I don't want to do nothing,
I need to do something but what? I'm so confused. I'm so unsettled.
A half hour before I can start heading to class. What to do? What to
do? Eat. That's what my mind is telling me. Eat-there's an apple in
the car. But the apple doesn't sound good. Nothing seems to sound good
today.
Though there's nothing particular bad about today. Today is just not a
good day. It's just not.
There is a silver lining to this cloud-it's yesterday and it's tomorrow.
I know those days. Its def. a different kind of hunger. I think we should be allowed these type of days. Just don't let them be too consecutive.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post. I hope I wasn't rude. I was trying to help people out. I've binged, but I'm trying not to. I feel bad for the people that binge everyday(i've also been there). But no one is going to stop it except yourself.\
ha ha
Go vEGGIES
I don't want to do anything but I don't want to do nothing,
ReplyDeleteI need to do something but what? I'm so confused. I'm so unsettled.
ok you totally described how Im feeling on a daily basis! Im meant to be relaxin and recovering from ma injuries but cant sit still! its so hard! I feel unsettled! I need to do sumtin! productive but it will make me stress! and then Ill get IBS cramps! Im sry Im not rly helpin your problem! all I can say is that I understand!! xx
Seriously, you put what I feel (pretty much) everyday into words!
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. I wish i knew some advice to give you on fixing it, but i'm still looking to fix it myself. Let me know if you figure anything out...
ReplyDeleteStay strong; stay hungry!
It's the quest for something else, other than hunger.
ReplyDeleteThe feeling of being lost.
You need to take a step back, re evaluate everything, set your priorities and start over with a kick in your step.
It's not always like this, I promise.
Keep yourself busy, always.
Have back up distractions.
Keep your head up high and stay strong.
xx
thank you so much for the comment yesterday i got it just i as i was beginin on binge purge round 2 with chocolate i put it away and no purge thank you so much !
ReplyDeletewish i had the same advice for you i think i feel like that to i often feel petty getting a comment knowing someones there so im here please be okay :)
xx
your bad day will pass, tomorrow
ReplyDeletewill be better. we all go through
these mood swings, some days are horrid and others are lovely.
just remember that you are amazing.
and i missed us commenting.
sorry ive been absent lately.
but i hope we catch up :)
love
kED
ps: im on twitter
search: dearkazz
Oh my God. Is that what I feel? Is that hunger what I keep calling "an ache that comes from my heart" ?
ReplyDeleteIt does seem like something that wants to be filled, like an extra arm that's trying to reach out of my chest and grab on to something...
I'm sorry you're feeling hunger and longing and loneliness. I know it won't make you feel better, but your struggle with yourself makes you so much stronger than those mindless drones out there living flatline emotions, with everything being "fine" and "ordinary"... Pathetic. If you know what a bad day is, you know what a good day is.
All my love.