Saturday, March 19, 2011

I was going good on the No Vom Lent Thang and then today happened. Vom City USA y'all. Not cool. It's a good thing I'm not a church goer cuz me the moles*ahem* man in the booth would be having some words and then I'd end up on my knees.

Praying. Hailing Mary and whatnot? Whatever. I'm not a church goer. I know not of these church going things. (You dirty girls... admit it, you mind fell to the gutter! And in church talk no less! 4 Hail Marys!)

Apparently my blog has not attracted a Genius Quantum Physics Genius* for the Time Machine I have been requesting so there will be no time travel for this lil lady. Ergo, I'm movin on... since it's My Lent Rules then My Lent Rules are that today never happened and the NON Vom Show will go on! Tomorrow and through the rest of Lent. It's unfortunate that the scale is not under my Ruling Power cuz that mother fucker. That mother fucker over there. In the bathroom. All scale-like. Tryin play all innocent dressed in white?! Yeah. That mother fucker is about to hurt my fucking  feelings tomorrow morning by reminding me of todays mishaps. Jerk.

*le sigh* It is what it is. And what's done is done.

On that note, back to the past and reflection. My emotions are out of sorts. I hate this ED (groundbreaking, I know). I'm trying really hard to be normal and push the thoughts away and think new Pretty Pretty Princess thoughts full of confidence and champagne (if you are new here, champagne is what dreams are made of, ergo, it is associated with all things good). The ED voice totes turns my Champagne to like... moonshine or something. Moonshine sounds okay in theory, "yay drunkedness!" and then it tastes awful, burns your insides, ruins your make-up (teary eyes), and you wake up the next day feeling like roadkill on the 405 fwy at 5 o'clock happened to you yesterday (just go with it, don't reread. Moonshines makes no sense either).

But Champagne, Champagne is what dreams are made of and Champagne needs to be what my LIFE is made of DAMNIT! So tomorrow I'm back in the Lent Lane. Tomorrow exercise will happen! And it will happen to ME! And overall healthiness and good champagne-like things...  it's not gonna be easy but by-golly shits gotta get done! I need to lose weight. I need to do it in a healthy manner. 

Oh yeah. And homework. Homework needs to get done too. And apparently, it doesn't do itself and then download into my brain like a handy dandy little iPhone App. Genius Medical Geniuses, get on that.

*How am I not attracting Genius Quantum Physics Geniuses to my blog?! These people need to get their priorities straight. Clearly.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Gimmicks and Gumption

Did I say "mark my words?" Because what I meant was "Mark my words starting Wednesday." Skipping class today for no good reason. My room is a mess. I need to do laundry. I need to do homework. And I've done nothing. Well, I'm writing this post right now, so I'm going to count it as something so the list of To Do's are not completely unchecked.

So then. STARTING WEDNESDAY! things are gonna happen. Good things. And they are going to continue happening for the next 40 days. Lent is on the horizon and I'm jumping on that Catholic Bandwagon! Just the lent part though, because I need a gimmick to get myself motivated. (Don't judge. Gimmicks are fun!) So I've decided to give up the processed shit and vomming.

I'm ambitious.

By processed foods I'm not including some of the healthier staples in my diet such as nonfat greek yogurt and other nonfat dairy products, tempeh and tofu. Also, Kind Bars and LĂ„rabars will be acceptable. So basically the Lent Allowed Foods are.... Veggies, fruits, seeds and nuts, eggs, nonfat dairy, tofu, tempeh, quinoa, oats and the aforementioned exceptions. And no vomming anything.

This will definitely be challenging, I'm not gonna lie. I can't even fake that this will be easy, it's definitely doable but ooohhhmuhgawd so not gonna be easy. These past two weeks have been the worst of the 2011 and I've got to do something to get my Twenty Eleven Mojo Back!

It's not going to be easy but I must. There is Ferret Status to be had and, bygolly, I will have it.

40 days start tomorrow.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Gotsta MAKE the Present a Gift!

It has not been a good week. But tomorrow TOMORROW! I will get the ball going on a spectaculwesome week! Full of success and the Fail count will be nil. Mark my words ladies! (But just for the week. I'll have new spectaculawesome words for the following week.) March is gonna be good. I'm getting the Badness out in Week One.

Aside from the Ed Fail of this past week. There was some news. Good news of the ka-ching persuasion. I started my job on Monday! Yay! (*spazzy dance*) So far, so good. They made me feel very welcome and comfortable. There is an added comfort that a friend of a friend is who got me the job and who I work with. Can you believe it's been 2 years since I've worked? Yeah, it's pathetic but now Unemployed Status is in the past and Present Status is EMPLOYED! And EMPLOYED means paychecks! And Paychecks mean iPad 2 and iPhone 5!

Just kidding.


I'm trying to tell the Apple Addict in me that it's irresponsible and I don't *NEED* either, but... I'm an addict. An addict with a paycheck. Maybe when I get to 120? Oh wow, 120 is not even light. How far I've climbed the scale :( But if you'll remember there are words that will be action and action that will be weightloss!

It's so easy to get stuck in Sadpants Mode & dwelling on the ever present and oh so unwelcomed fat. Too easy. The only way to create a future is to work on it in the present! So I gotta go now and prepare for a week of Spectaculawesomeness! Starting with a load in the wash and a workout. Join me ladies!

Creating Futures NOW!!!

Ready GO!

Didn't go? oh well... you're still creating a future, I hope it's one you will like when that future is now.