- You almost spit into the toilet after brushing your teeth.
- You calculate calories for the entire package rather than for a serving.
- You choose foods by taste up and down.
- You judge food by how easily they return to your lips.
- You eat in order of "good" to "bad" just in case of digestion.
I wish I could say that reading a book flipped a switch of no return. Switches were indeed flipped but when it comes to permanent changes a book cannot undo all the psychological damage done over the years. Emotions are still there. Emotions are still overwhelming.
Not that I'm going to give up ;) I will not accept bulimia.
You're right...a book can't undo what has already been done; but perhaps it can be the platform you launch yourself off of into a new way of handling the old emotions.
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Abso! You know me wifey, I wasn't expecting magic or anything! (Hoping and wishing for it, yes! But not expecting) I just felt the need to address it just in case anybody was thinking there'd be a whole new Lina after reading a very good book. The book IS really good tho and helpful. I still recommend it.
ReplyDeleteBut goddamn I got a long road to travel!
Oh a list of things I wish I didn't completely relate to! I don't think I've ever looked at calories in a "serving" or binged on anything I know I can't throw up easily.
ReplyDeleteEmotions - it's so easy to forget how central they are when this seems like such a physical affliction... and I've always been skeptical as to how much we can change them.
I loved your last post by the way, it was bitterly honest. I again felt so much of what you said. I don't know that there is such a thing as recovery, but I'm certain it is possible to kill the bulimic monster at least.
All my love x x x
oh no! ya, I said yes to everything on that list. ugh...
ReplyDeletethat list hits the nail on the head !
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