Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Ya what of it?

I'm so jealous of thin people.  When I look in the mirror I try to suck it in and twist and turn but there is no disguising the weight gain.  There is no escaping the tightness of my clothes.

Three days I did not do the Slim in 6 video but Monday I started up again. Tuesday I did it twice and today, once. I can feel and see the difference, my body is smoothing but not shrinking due to my eating (read: bingeing).  Monday was great but Tuesday and today I caved. I ate way too much and I panicked and ended up with the wrong end in the toilet bowl.

Obviously, I feel bad about puking but not as badly as I do about bingeing.  Puking, at least, gets rid of some calories.  Not that I really want to get back in the habit.  I'd much rather restrict.

So, you know where my head is at! That's right, the good ole Fukit mentality. I've even been drinking soda. 8 years without it and I'm back in the habit. Only this time I'm doing it without the calories. It's just too damn hot for coffee and I like the way the bubbles fill my stomach.

I don't know what to do about dieting and losing.  I have so much knowledge on the subject, like I'm sure all you girls do; I'm constantly looking up information on dieting, health, nutrition, weight loss, the body.... but maybe I've gotten to the point where I know so much I don't know where to begin.  Then there are my bodies needs and budgeting....the whole subject exhausts me lately.  Or perhaps that is the lack of eloctrolytes in my system right now? Either way. I just want to lose weight and for my jeans to be comfortable again (preferably too big!).  So if I do it by stupid and unhealthy means....fukit.


  1. you get me. you just do. I never fucking WANT to binge but it just happens. fasting hurts so good. at least your CW is lower than mine haha i got right back up to 126 after being 117.5 just two weeks ago. I wish i didn't puke multiple times a day to get there. but hey.. i'm doing what i can.

    if you've got any tips to get my shit in control.. welll i'd love 'em


  2. Oh girl I feel you. Let's just fucking get it over with. Just wanted you to know that I support your endeavors, haha, so yeah! Think thin! I will too :)


  3. I know what you mean about knowing too much. Do you cut out carbs? Cut out fat? Restrict or eat 5 small meals a day? I know way too much about diets and nutrition that its impossible for me to do anything but restrict because at least when I restrict I see immediate results.

  4. I feel very much the same, hun. It's beyond disappointing to try to lose weight by healthy means and end up gaining--that's what always happens to me. Stay strong, and feel better about yourself soon, ok?

  5. I started exercising pretty much for the first time in my life about 2 weeks ago. Every other day I'll do my strength training stuff and some jump rope for cardio, and on the other days I jump rope for like 10 or 15 minutes and stretch very thoroughly. When I started, I weighed 119, and today I weigh 125. I know I'm gaining a lot of weight in muscle, but I am still thrown off by working out and gaining weight. Kinda weird.
    I haven't really changed my diet, either. I figure I'm just becoming more dense lol

    Don't give up on exercising whether you gain or lose weight: it's good for you! (No shit, Summer)

    (Look, I'm using parentheses too)

    (Ok I'm done.)


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