Sunday, July 4, 2010

Maybe One Day I'll Get Tired of Failing...

and actually succeed. (cue: *gasps*)

Momentary lapse of judgement on the puking front?


I mean, I've got to admit that spewing does have a calming effect on me. I can go so far as to say that it feels good. To lose weight, however, it has the opposite effect on me since I am a notorious binger. So not only do I not get enough of it out, what does stay down (albeit, quite stubbornly so) seems to take up resident on my hips and thighs 
E! Mediately.

Oh yeah, and apparently it's a pretty disgusting habit.

Also, the puffy glands, red eyes, vomit breathe on top of my already chipmunky cheeks? Notsocute.

Ergo, I'm trying not puke anymore.

I'm just gonna try to restrict by buying all the low cal goodness that I can find. Plus vegetables. Plus Fruit. Because these are also (mostly) low cal goodness.

I'm also continuing my exercise regime with the Slim in 6 DVD's. I'm doing the second phase, today will be my third day on it. I'm hoping this time I will be able to do the entire thing without pausing. Twice. That's right, I paused TWICE. (Don't judge! At least I'm trying!) Again, I can see my body changing but due to the excessive binging it's not, I repeat NOT getting smaller. With that, I'd like to say that I am not nor have I ever claimed to be anorexic. I'm just an excessive (failing) dieter with bulimic shadow haunting me and a desire to be thin. The desire for food, however, is evidently winning as of late.

I downloaded some software off so I can get the vids on my iPhone (they're borrowed). Also, Power 90>Fat Burning System might possibly be my next DVD endeavor, but I might just bite the bullet and check out J.Michaels 30 Day Shred. 


  1. the jillian michaels 30 day shred is SO hard. I've heard of some amazing results, but I did three days and then couldn't walk. Very effective.

  2. You're bulimic, as am I. And eating disorder is an eating disorder, love. We're all chasing the same dream. That Jillian Michaels thing sounds fun. I'd love to give it a shot. I actually find its easier to binge/purge and exercise instead of restricting. I lose weight this way, but thats because I've perfected my purging technique to like hardcore (baking soda+water; orange juice). Not bragging AT ALL. In fact I think its a bit pathetic. But yeah...its disgusting and terrible for you and ADDICTIVE AS HELL. I hate this.

  3. Sounds like an awesome plan!
    Keep it up :] :]


  4. Just because you fell down definitely doesn't mean you can't get right back up and hop on the skinny train. I know you can do it. Just keep working.


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