Thursday, October 21, 2010


It's 12:06am and my day has been wasted on this stupid presentation for Cinema that is like a fucking wild rainbow platypus chase. I didn't even get half of it done and just turned it in (by midnight) because I spent too much time and got too little out of it. It would probably have been a better idea to have not turned in anything at all (but that's rational talk. Rational need not apply here. That's right, mosey along Rational-there's no love in this club for you today). ACTUALLY, it would have been a better idea to say Fuck you to the assignment in the first place and studied for the two midterms I have to do tomorrow instead. Cinema being one of them. What a jackhole to have this presentation due during Midterms ON TOP of giving us a midterm. So I'm basically getting an F the presentation as well as bad grades (D's? C's?) on the midterms I'm taking tomorrow. AND I'm so angry and frustrated and tired right now if my cinema teacher were to be in front of me right now I'd go Zombie Beast on him and bite his head off (CHOMPITY CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP) and then go all Zombies Play Baseball and throw his head against a brick wall and say "STEEEEEEE-RIKE THREE YUR OUTTATHERR!" and then I'll Zombie Ninja his body in half (Hiye-YA!).

I may or may not be a little delusional right now.

Real talk tho, it is my fault and not my teachers. I should have managed my time better. I should have not procrastinated about studying and/or doing the presentation. I'm not so IamtheCenteroftheUniverse (even tho we all know that I am the Center of the Universe, and humble is a game I play to preserve delicate egos) to place my blame on others. I am really just angry with myself and my lack of responsibility and time management. Again, how have I managed this long!? These poor habits of mine. These faults. SERENITY NOW!!! (☜Whatever that means. I remember it from Family Matters.)

Also, I ate too much and in my potbellied remorse bought 30 Day Shred on iTunes (with a gift card) and half assed level one. I was pretty sure a couple times I was gonna puke, cardio is not my forte. Maybe that will change in 30 days? We shall see. The Slim in Six butt that I got wore off and now it's all sag and saddles (well, more so). Seriously, one look at my body is like InstaDepression! Know any happy campers? Show them a picture of my body and tell them it's theirs and WHAMMO! InstaDepression! Act now and you'll get a  T-Shirt that reads: Go fat yourself. FREE!!! Because fuck is a nice word in comparison and this shirt is mean like kerosene (just go with it). Think about it, I would could totally wake up the next morn sans guilt and remorse if I fucked the night before, but to fat the night before? No way Jose! That's a cliff jump waiting to happen! (I live in the valley, it's harder to find a cliff high enough in these parts and gas is just too expensive.)

Okay. I'm going to go dream now about Champagne (because this is what dreams are made of) and sexy men. Let's just hope no Wild Rainbow Platypus's appear or Cinema Teachers or Zombies or Zombie Cinema Teachers or Fitness Instructors or Umpires (cuz I'm the shot caller!) or my current body or little bubbles with the letter A, B, C, D, or E in them or puke cause that's just no sexy.

Steve Urkel and Ninjas welcomed. BYOB tho.


  1. Good luck on your test! I'm sorry about the assignment. 30 day shred uh? I think I would only make it through day 1. But you are awesome

  2. The thirty day shred is SO HARD! such a good workout. I never personally used it for thirty days. Just on and of maybe 5 days out of the thirty! but it really does work if you use it, haha!

  3. LMFAO!!!! i did the 30 day shred and omg i swear it NEVER gets easier! i did it legit everyday and i thought i was gonna puke EVERYTIME! it really does help though..... if anything it just makes u scared to eat b/c ur so nauseous! LOLS!

    GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!! and stick with it, it will become easier. dont switch levels until ur comfortable doing the level ur on, dont switch every 10 days or its WAY too much :P

    -sincerely ur friend happiness <3

  4. A Wild Rainbow Platypus appears!

    You used Champagne.

    It's super effective! Wild Rainbow Platypus fainted!

  5. I'm sorry for all the crap you're going through right now =/ You're hilarious though. Zobie attacks? Platypus? XD You crack me up. I hope it all works out hon. <3

  6. Ahaha, you definitely make me smile!
    Good luck with everything, gorgeous.

  7. Just so you know, champagne is acceptable, at about 90 calories a glass.

    Sometime soon you should not just dream about it, but celebrate that midterms are over.




(or e-mail: