Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Cosmos Better Get Their Shit Together

I'm pretty sure the cosmos were against me yesterday. Or maybe...maybe that was me against me. The ED me, that is. I knew I was gonna binge when I went to bed the night before. I like to plan a NomVom in the early hours of the day and stay away from food the rest of the day. I do the Nom and the Vom to get it out of the way. To stay in control, I guess. If that makes any sense to you. Furthermore, I knew I was going to run errands before the NomVom so that I could get some NomVom food.

But then something awful happened. And it's awful only because I'm ED, the half of my brain that is relatively healthy was excited about the phone call from my aunt. A cooking class of Martini's & appetizers...martini? YES!Let's do this! I'm pretty certain that Martini making is a Life Skill, so this class is crucial to my existence. But the ED part of me was not amused. Food with real ingredients, like sugar and not Splenda? Cringe. I'll have to *gulp* digest this real food? And this may have been kinda okay if I would have had time enough to NomVom what I had planned.

The original plan (post phone call) was to have a bite of something, make some tea, get ready, and distract myself until it was time to leave. About an hour, an hour and a half max. The original plan went to shit. My mom came home just when I was finishing up the purge of my mini binge. (Yes, I'm well aware of my Stupid Girl Status.) I only had time for a quick change and make-up touch up, the hair was a hot mess.

The food was a flavorful party in my mouth. And not just any ole party with a keg and Doritos. This party was like My Super Sweet Sixteen party on steroids. The Sidecar Martini & Blackberry Martini may or may have definitely been the 'roids. And they threw a curve ball; they fed us desert. This brown tart pie thing with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. O. M. G.

*le sigh*

If we would have gone home after that it might of been kinda sorta maybe manageable. But we didn't, oh no, The Cosmos were having none of that. We went to my aunts house were my Adorable Cutie Pie niece was and I binged. alvausbuaifvwahbf;w! Know what'am sayin'?

And then I purged. Yes, at my aunts house. The rest of the house was watching a movie and should they ask any questions, I could just say I had to poop. That's always my excuse when I'm in the restroom for so long. The purge sucked tho, which is not surprising. I was tense and didn't use the liquid tricks of the trade to help out heavy Vom.

So annoying!

In other news, I went Christmas shopping with my Mom on Sunday and we got practically nothing accomplished in the way of gifts but I did get 3 pairs of jeans. Ten dollars guys! Ten! So for the price of one pair of inexpensive jeans ($30 is my norm) I got THREE! I didn't try them on because I'm a pansy like that. I just eyeballed and grabbed a size 6. I was so scared to try them on but they fit perfectly. I'm glad that they fit cuz like.... a size 8(!) would be Crybaby Status. Size 7 is my okay, I can live with this [but I don't want to] size. But, of course, a size 2/3 would be Ferret Status.

I know some of you girls are aching for that zero or one but I'm mexican. I got hips, thighs, and a booty, size zero and the even the white boys would want to feed me a hamburger. Especially cuz I'm small on top.... I don't want people counting my bones through my shirt. Not sexy.


  1. ferret status is within reach, wifey g.

    between the gym and my constant cheerleading, your hips will slim, but your ass will still attract the right kind of attention. viva la woman!

  2. Not to downplay your mia, but the term NomVom makes me LOL every time. I know how you feel about the cursed booty, too. I'm a white girl, even. I have no excuse, other than my ass, hips, and thighs are where I carry my weight. Nobody wants to feel ass-bones when you sit on their lap, anyways.


  3. I dont have the same body shape as you and Emily (above my commentXD)
    I have a boney arse (people complain) but I'M SO FAT AROUND THE MIDDLE!
    *sigh* You're lucky really.
    and OMG I wanna go to a class like that XD lol sounds fun haha.
    btw whats a US size 6 in Uk sizes? I always get so damned confused o.O

  4. Yay for ferret status!!

    At least hips have a pleasing shape. I'm Irish--we get the fat arms. Everything else could get skinny, but we still have those Big-Irish-Mother crush-you-with-Catholic-love arms. And working out our arms only makes them larger.

    Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, hun. <3

  5. I try to save my b/ps for the last thing i do in a day or I always follow them up with about 4 more. Once I pop the purge don't stop.

    I'm jealous of your jean steal and I hope you have a merry christmas!


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