Friday, May 28, 2010


Everytime I eat or don't eat I am making a choice.  Do I want to be fat or skinny?  Is what I'm doing getting me closer to my goals or putting more distance in between?

My sis took me to Olive Garden for lunch today.  I ordered the endless soup & salad and drank water (per usual).  Dressing on the side, no cheese and no noodles in my soup.

Making choices.

And then I made wrong choices. I ate two buckets of said salad, a bowl of said soup and 2 breadsticks.  Somewhere in between all that half the little thingy of salad dressing mysteriously went missing... it may or may not be found below the muffin top and somewhere in the hip and thigh region disguised as fat.

Bad decision.

Buttery breadsticks should be avoided at all costs. I know this, you know this and still they wiggled out of the white clothes, hopped out of the basket and leaped into my mouth. I know it was wrong.  You know it was wrong. But what's done is done and this mistake can be rectified.  If I had made this unfortunate decision at dinner time, the consequences would be worse.

600 jumping jacks today.  150 sit-ups.  30 push-ups.  5 sets of squats.  That is the goal today.


  1. you did so good getting dressing on the side and no cheese or noodles! proud of you girl. don't let the little bad decision get you down your doing great!!

  2. Oh dear the breadsticks are always attacking me as well. They just up and jump into my mouth... Ok, so maybe i help them get there. What's your point? Lol. However, you did do well not ordering some fatty meal like i probably would have, so that's a job well done.
    600 jumping jacks = true amazing determination!
    Stay strong, dearie.

  3. "this mistake can be rectified"
    Wow, I wish I could think this way.
    I always just feel like shit after an epic fail. :(

    I gave you a silly award. Check it out. ;)

  4. omgomgomg i love/hate olive garden sooo yummy but i sooo cant go there and not binge :/

  5. We've all been to lunches like this!
    Don't fret, darling, you'll overcome and make better choices in the future.

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  7. Loveee, it's so good to be back and catch up with you.

    Wow it's like everything you've said recently resonantes exactly with how I've been feeling, yet you've posted through it whilst I hid. I too suffered through exams, feeling like nothing less than perfect was good enough, yet being aware that I was fundamentally incapable of achieving this, the result being...despondancy and avoidance. My stress has served me well in the past-pushing me to work harder, but there comes a point when it crosses over into dysfunctional and I reached this.

    Similarly the question, how skinny? has been very prevalent in my mind. I too want to be normal and skinny yet attractive, yet a bizarre part of my brain is dissatisfied when I look passively thin. I want to be ill-looking. I want to be bones. I just don't know really.

    Until then, like you said, every eating decision reflects this. I vary my intake daily, not because I am particularly motivated to lose/gain weight per se, but because eating normally reflects being satisfied and wanting to tbe the same, and I am never happy with myself. Never.

    God it's like you read my mind. Damn it's good to be back, I missed you :) Keep posting and no more prolonged absences, kay? x

  8. Ahhh, it's always bread for me too!
    Don't worry, you still did really well, and you worked off all the damage, so i'd say not too bad a day :)
    Hope you are ok Xxx

  9. Wow, i just found your blog, just read the first entry and love them both!
    Thank you, you are favorited!

    i have a love/hate relationship with Olive Garden....and all resturants...oh, and food.

    PS i just got a new scale (A fancy "Thinner"....
    ha, ha. It weighs me less than my old one. It is supposed to be so accurate...i am afraid) GAH!!!!!!!


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