Perseverence of The Hatey, by The Hatey, against The Hatey

As if it couldn't get any worse from the last post, oh it did. The following morning of that post I was greeted by Aunt Flo. So now I've got lesions on my face, continuous Flo, hormones jumping all over the Globe of Emo's, stretching in stretchy pants in front of a mirror with more than 20 others, and a mini speech. My Thursday was No Bueno Shit. Of course, I mustered through it all cuz I'm all about Gettin' Shit  Done-TwentyEleven Styley but damn.

So then was Friday and yesterday and today of the Noms and the Voms... and the Flo, and the lesions, and sadpants getting fatter... Rough week, yes?

As Sadtastic as this lovely week has been, the universe has denied me request of time and the world to stop, which means I better try and crawl out of my cave or turmoil and take some [achey] steps towards Operation: Ferret, Mission: Income, and doing homework. This next week won't be easy with the set backs of last week still present along with the damage of the NomVoms (btw, I totes stole this terminology from kazehana).

Tomorrow the Blood Type Diet Commences (a diet my hairdresser swears by), along with the week 1 diet of BBG (since I've mucked it up so badly). I'm not 100% sure that my blood type is A, but I think it is and I'm just gonna go with it cuz it's too much trouble to figure out what it is in a budget friendly fashion. I can see how people aren't so jazzed about this diet, it cuts out many foods. But I'm focusing on what I do have to work with! Cuz putting energy in negativity is counterproductive (Exhibit A: what this past week has done to me) and I've got my eyes on the prize. Ferret Bod here I come gawddamnit!

And the other stuff will follow. I notice that when I'm eating a healthy (and low calorie) diet I feel more inclined to exercise, and then I feel more incline to get dressed and do stuff. Even if it's homework or laundry, I just have more motivation to start checking things off my to do list (I'm a virgo-I have lists upon lists that are endless). I also feel less cravey and vomming actually sounds a bit ridiculous and wasteful of my time. So, basically....Healthy = Good. Groundbreaking, right?! First step always seems to take the most effort. *le sigh*

Hate Everything!

I'm feeling very hatey at the mo. Exhibit A: The title of this post. Exhibit B: The herpes on my face. It pains me to say "herpes" more than it does bulimic. For those of you who are not in the Herpes Know let me fill you in on a couple things. First off, I hate you; because I'm feeling hatey (see: first sentence) and I'm insanely jealous of you. Secondly, herpes is not strictly caught through doing Inappropriate Things with Strangers. The Inappropriate Things with Strangers Type is typically found in the Nether Regions of the bod.

If I had the Inappropriate Things Type in my Nether Regions I wouldn't make a post about it, I'd be too busy crying. For me Unlucky began in childhood. I've gotten fever blisters since before I knew or cared how babies where made back when boys had cooties. And every time I get an outbreak I shake my fists at the Universe and slew an endless stream of derogative words! And then I say, "I'msorryIdidn'tmeanit. JUSTMAKETHEMGOAWAY!" I want the time to stop and the world to stop turning and hide under my blankey (yes, I still have one. Don't judge.) and cry and cry and cry until the hideousness disappears off my face.

I'm Nerdcore so when I have an issue I do research. Well, I'm Nerdcore to the power of Lazy and I googled that ish. Turns out most all the foods I've been eating are the loser in the Lysine vs. Arginine challenge. I'm suppose to be eating foods that have more Lysine and I'm doing the opposite. So now, I've got to revise the diet that felt so right. And by revise I mean take a Lysine supplement and see if that helps because I'm lazy and revising my diet would be effortey.

I am so sadpants right now. I have school tomorrow, a mini speech in Public Speaking Class and I have yoga. In all my sadpantsness I nommed and vommed. Which makes my pants even sadder. I wanted to vom more but my mom came home and the Hideousness on my mouth was getting irritated so I stopped. I want to take some lax tea so I can at least get empty but I have yoga tomorrow and.... if the lax should have bad timing.... well, best to just not risk it. Such a slap in the face, I've gotten nothing done productive since I felt it.

Caution: Speed Bump

NomVom happened last night. I think I did a good job on the Vom and the Nom was pretty healthy. Though it is bad, on a scale of bad to baddest the incident was low scoring. This morning I was .5 pounds more than the previous 2 days but what-the-fuck ever cuz today I'm back on my game, back on my Mission: Ferret Mentality and that .5 is likely water & shit. (Whoa, potty mouth much?) (Get it?! Potty Mouth?! Vom night?! At least give me a smirk.)

The Good Vibes you ladies sent me for school is fant-awesome-tastic! Because I got into all of my classes! School has commenced and and the line up of classes includes yoga! While the notion of contorting my body in various poses in spandex and in front of a large mirror with a sprinkle of tiny girls in the class is not so appealing (the comparison in that gargantuan mirror is most repulsive), the idea of centering, calming, stretching, and building lean muscle has me looking forward to the semester. Plus, I'm on my way to Super Ferret Status, so girls in the class are gonna be like "dai-yum! I want a bod like that!" in their minds when they're suppose to be concentrated on breathing causing them to fall over and I'll laugh because when people fall it's funny.

On a side note: Spin Pins work.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

Keep GVing me! (Kinda sounds inappropriate, huh?) I need two classes AND income! There getting closer, hopefully closing in on me tomorrow and by next week in the bag! And the next week I will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! MUAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

*ahem*

Let's just focus on this week, shall we? We shall. Still working the BBG. Tuesday was tough and 'spensive. Healthy eating on-the-go and my PoorGirlsBudget do not get along even at Trader Joe's. My meals were....creative. Thanks to the few healthy blogs I follow, I scrounged up were not necessarily delicious-but palatable meals that were healthy. I stayed under 900 cals but it was not all sunshine and champagne walks in the park. Getting an adequate amount of sleep really helps keep the appetite in check; and an adequate amount of sleep I did not have. And again today.

My body is trying to adjust to the new sleep schedule [for school], the lack of calories [that I get from NomVoms], not NomVomming, and the healthy diet [sans processed food, artificial sweetener, added salt or caffeine] which BBG considers a light detox/cleanse. I'm determined to get through this adjustment period unscathed. Well...aside from the Fuckery that is happening in the Mental Quarters.

I was so ready to NomVom today. What's stopping me, you ask? (Just go with it, you know the drill.) First of all a NomVom would throw off the accuracy to which I have been maintaining my BBG logs, my food scale is getting much love. I didn't want to screw up the detox-ish thing I've got going. It would mean starting from square one, and getting to square 5 took...well 5 days. I'm so over failing (OVERIT!). Also, Kazehana text me and kept me from stepping into The Mist (not fog, it wasn't bout to get kraz-e, just caloric).

2011 is about this new thing called "success" (don't worry, I had to look it up in the dictionary too). I want to and I will take steps towards my goals. For too long I have been either stagnant or backwards (I'm counting 1 step forward & 2 steps back as 'backwards'). I am determined for RESULTS! (Good ones.)

I was so upset this morning when I stepped on the scale and it read a pound more than yesterday. Since I've begun the BBG (on Saturday) I have not gone about 900 calories. I have also not gone, taking that into consideration along with my crazytown sodium intake of yesterday, I'm thinking I'm a pound heavier of shit and water. I'm sipping on tea and went today so hopefully the scale will not corroborate yesterdays nasty numbers today. (I like how I blame the scale and not me, my body, and my bullshit actions.)

Tomorrow is another day of all day class. Good Vibe me! <3

Healthy on the Inside. Kinda.

Why, oh why do I get cold sores and/or fever blisters when I begin something? sldcknvzfuwbjuv!!! Knowhatamsayin'?! And this is happening when I'm trying to be all Goody-goody Get-Skinny! I'm on day 3 of Body By Glamour [with The Fab Kazehana] and feeling good (aside from the monstrosity that has set up shop on my mouth). I really thought that taking out the artificial sweeteners and adding salt was going to be The Death Of Me. But I'm here typin' alive and strivin'. I have more energy and am in a better state of mind. Strange. This 'health' thing. I think Mother Earth is onto something!

Mother Earth and society are not on the greatest of terms tho because tomorrow is gonna be hard. I start school tomorrow and will be away from home from 7:30 to 10:30. That's AM to PM y'all! Packaged food is a no-no, and I don't really do fast food anyway. And it's not like my school supplies me with a fridge or microwave for my brown bagged lunch! The plan is a healthy and satisfying breakfast (like the one I had this morning) and then hit up Trader Joe's for a late lunch/dinner.

Fact: Trader Joe's is The Spot.

Also, I may have a part-time job! It's a commute but I'll take what I can get for some extra bucks. My bank account is like a no tooth, patched eye pirate with a peg leg–no parrot or pocket thief of a monkey cuz he pawned them bitches. Mr. Pirate is about to sell the pegleg and the liver if I don't get some income soon! YOU KNOW how much a pirate needs his liver, Rum is crucial for the survival of a pirate. We'll see. (Good Vibe me please! kthnx. ilu <3)

(oh yeah, and Good Vibe me for getting all my classes tomorrow! kthatsall. *hugz*)

(Unless you want to GV me for some Neighbor Boy? For extra cred? No? Okayfine. I'll take what I can get.)

Gotta get Ready, Set, Go! for my day tomorrow.

Slacker slash Productive, I does it.

I've been totes Slacker Status on the Gym Tip. It all started one bingey day and continued to today but will hopefully come to an end tomorrow. On the bright side, my room is really coming along (NYres2010). Amazing what a couple of pieces of furniture will do to help spruce up and organize my ity bity closet of a room. What's even more amazing, even Amazeballs, if you will, is the fact that I single handedly put together and move around these pieces of furniture AND (oh yes Friends, there is an "AND") I've even worked the power drill! (Go ahead and think it, I am awesome like that.)

In the way of food. Well. The NomVoms are certainly rearing their ugly 8 Headed FrogDragon self into 2011. However, 2011 is different in that I'm actually trying to be better. (Go me!) (Yes, I cheer myself on. Don't judge.) On the days that I don't NomVom I try and keep the cals in the 500s. Last year even a day of this seemed impossible, this year? This Year!? THIS YEAR(!) Shit Is Happening! Changes are being made! Saluté to 2011! Eleven is a Magical Number.

I'm looking forward to more Getting Shit Done for this weekend. In my room, at the gym, and away from the kitchen, now that my room actually resembles a closet used as a room, as opposed to a closet of a person who hates doing laundry and shoves all her earthly possessions in, I am finding it easier to stick my nose in a book and not in the kitchen cupboards. I'm even watching my tiny TV and sitting at my desk to blog. (Yes folks, this is Big News. Don't you doubt it for a second! I'm a Truth Teller and I Tell The Truth.)

Next week school starts. I'm on some waitlists, pray, chant, do a little dance, make a little love....however you do, vibe me, y'all!!

Looking Ahead

Today went better than expected. (For me, not my bank account.) I am taking steps towards a New Years Resolution that I had made last year and forgot to make this year (go ahead, call me Little Miss Procrastination-getting shit done is Getting Shit Done!).

I went to Ikea today. That and Michaels are heaven to This(!) creative girl! The plan in my head was to scope out the scene, get a few little organizer things and order Though Through Things online. But then I was headed to the check out line and I huffed out my chest like a rooster and crowed, "FUCK IT! Shit is goin' down TADAY! The time is NOW!" Sadly, the Vicky Secrets bra was not the decision I made this morning to support the girls so for the follow hour I fought with Heavy Ass Boxes, gave evil eyes to men passing by, and shook my fist at the sky and blamed the Gawds for my impulsive Git 'er Done attitude. (Surely, I am not to be blamed for such things.) I even worked up a sweat! Which is a win in my book cuz at the end of the day I am one step closer to getting my room together.

Now I just have to get my stuff put together....Heaven Help Me!!! Wine Be With Me!!!

3rd day is a....char

broiled BITCH! Started of just fine and then went down the toilet. Only on the 3rd day and I go and NomVom. Curse the curse-ed Noms! I can't hate on the Vom too bad tho, it is saving my ass from outgrowing my jeans. But oh well, hiccups happen and I'm moving on with Mission: Ferret.

Bouncing back y'all! I'm gonna do it.

Fat Pants No More!!! Eyes on the Prized Ferret Body!

Massa Scale, I am yowe grasshoppa

January 1st of twenty eleven is now guys. NOAW! And I gots the Determination Bug! And a You'reafuckingfatassgetoffyourassgettothegymandstaythefuckawayfromfood Virus. How do I get infest with such viciousness you ask? (Just go with it, ask.) Answer: I stepped on the scale.

I have been avoiding those red digits of truth for...a long ass time. And just like that I was it's bitch again. All day these numbers have haunted my psyche. (Okay, it's only 1:30pm and I got up at 10:50am. WHATEVER! THE SCALE IS FUCKING WITH ME HARDCORE!) And I'm not talking Casper the Friendly Ghost here. I'm talkin' Pet Semetary ish, the dude with the gashed in head and globs of Ghostbuster ghosts trying to attack me and take over my body I so much as think in the general direction of the kitchen. I hid under my blankets for a good half hour, afraid the Fat Monsters were gonna get me.

But they already have! It swallowed me up in 2010 and then threw me up in 2011. It's time to get all Janitor up in this bitch and clean up house. Fortunately for me I got the handy dandy gym pass to help me out in Operation: Fat Sucker and also aiding me in Mission: Ferret.

I am truly heartbroken about the Truth Digits but y'know what? It's time to face up and do something about it. All the heartbreak needs to go into the Determination Bug! (I need to find a new term for that....cuz like I want to be a Determination Bug Monster but like...not.) AND! It could have been worse. I wasn't too bad last night. I was like....a normalish person. No bingeing on food or drink. Can you imagine the NomVommery that would be in full force swing right now like a hurricanic tornado tsunami beast if I was hungover, remorseful, and cravey?! Oh the horror! THA WHORRRRAH!!!!

2011: All food goes documented and counted. Exercise happens everyday! Daily weigh ins.

"Not all that is faced can be changed, but nothing can change until it is faced."