It seems like we struggle to even know what feelings are. Do we even know what it is to love, to express love? Or are we just mimicking what we hear about or see in the movies and do those things that the people who were in love did. It's not the act that is love, it is the emotion that drove us to the act that is what is meaningful. Once upon a super long time ago there was a man in love who gave the woman he loved a flower because it was so perfect and naturally beautiful but, in his eyes, it paled in comparison to the beauty of the woman he loved. (Or something poetic.) And now, a guy buys flowers because that's what women want. No, dumbasses, girlfriend wants love (and/or be the apple of his eye) and boyfriend wants to get laid (and/or not get bitched at). I'm not saying it's not sweet and express love but more times than not they are contrived because they feel like that's what you are supposed to do but lack either the emotions or the ability to express their emotion.
I know people who have gotten married because they saw the ring. I know people who have gotten married because they've been together for so long. I know people who have gotten married because they don't want to be single. I know people who have gotten married because time is ticking and they want to have babies already. I know people who are still in relationships because there is nothing wrong even though there is nothing really right about their relationship either. If you are in love you should be happy, not indifferent.
My mom and her boyfriend have been together for 15 years, she wants to get married because she "doesn't want to be alone" for the rest of her life. Marriage is ensurance that he will not leave her tomorrow. What I love about their relationship is that they have nothing keeping them together except love. They are both financially independent, have their own lives and they are both attractive and have other offers (seriously, my mom gets hit on a lot. What a disappointment when they see her daughter looks nothing like her. Sorry fellas don't judge a daughter by her mama). They are both easy going and affectionate. Right now they are spending 2 weeks in Florida going fishing or whatever at his house out there. I don't want marriage or a relationship, I want love. The rest follows.
Why do we continually seek more and better? Why do we develop addictions? Are addiction derived from unhappiness? Doing something once or every now and again is fine but when it gets to the point where we do this something and return to our regular programing and all you are doing is looking for a distraction from your regular programmed schedule Houston, that's a problem.
I think we are taught, as a society to numb our emotions and fake feelings with how we think we should feel instead of feeling. A lot of people will say that they are happy as an automatic response because in our black and white society you are either a happy person or a depressed person. And if you are a depressed person you have failed somehow.
I feel like all around me are people living in worlds of denial. They are so far disillusioned that they don't even know it because at this far into the game of life they don't want to know it. It's just easier to keep playing because it's normal.
We are hurting our planet and ourselves with our sins of society. It makes me sad that there is so much wrong with our society and it effects people on every level. The government fucks us and we let them through our inaction. There are power in numbers but our numbers seem to be preoccupied with Doritos and Tabloid Magazines, in other words, slowly killing themselves with delicious and inexpensive poisons and polluting their minds with frivolous distractions instead of the real issues.
I am powerless and sad. I am guilty of indulging in distractions among other things because it's easier not to. I don't even know anybody who knows much of anything about politics, I would have to learn and teach myself. And I swear the government doesn't want us to know about it either, so they make it all super boring and use big words that most people don't know. And then they keep things from us... ugh.
This has been bothering me for a long time; again, there is so much more going on in my mind on this subject that I can't pin down or articulate correctly and/or fully. My mind is very web-like and it all connects... I just wish I were articulate enough to give a clear picture.
I applaud you and want to hug you if you actually read all of this, I'm quite the rambler. And if you have any thoughts I would love to hear them even if you are criticizing me, that's fine too.