Saturday, March 27, 2010

Long & Rambly and Heavy on my Mind

A tax on tanning.

Buy 2 seat on an airplane if you are too heavy.

Cigarrette tax.

What next?  The government has to threaten us with money to get us to NOT do and/or consume things that will kill us.  Who says greed, gluttony, sloth, lust, envy, wrath and pride are not deadly sins?  We are experiencing them in a roundabout way in our society.  In fact, our "success" as a society is built on them.

Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

God is used in this copied and pasted definition here but replace God with Life because that is what I am talking about here.  Religion or beliefs have nothing to do with it. 

What is science?
We have labs all over the place trying figure out how to reverse or stop the aging process and wrinkles and beat cancer.  Is this not an excessive belief in our abilities to defy nature?  There would be no sense in trying if we didn't have an inkling of belief that we could achieve what we set out to do.

(I'm still hoping they succeed in making a pill that will take away wrinkle and get me skinny.)

(and take away periods.) (I can't take birth control because of Lupus.)

What is importing?
We go to another country and wish we had that here in America and then we do. I can go to the grocery store anytime in the year and get food that isn't in season here but tis the season on the other side of the globe!

Gluttony & Lust & Greed.  (these are all in the same category to me but each word has a different connotation: Food, Sex, Money.  And each is executed in a different manner and hurts in a different way.)
What is a "binge"?
How many times have you heard "in moderation" this year?  We are such an all or nothing society that "in moderation" needs to be stressed to us.  We hear something is good (whether it be good for us or just good) we can't seem to get enough of it!  It's food, yes but we are addicted to shopping, sex, money, twitter or ....well, a person can find addiction in just about anything.  Be greedy for it.  Lust after it. Gluttonous in enjoying it.

(Apples and fruit medleys year round.  I'm not complaining.)

(I'm hoping one day I'll be addicted to life and yoga.) (And homework.)

(Maybe they'll develop a pill for that...)

What is the purpose of technology?
Technology is finding an easier way of doing things.  Are things too easy now? (I'm thinking no, my growing ass is screaming yes.)

What is war?

I, like most people, ponder what the meaning of life is, why I'm here and what my purpose is.  I do believe that earth and life is a kind of puzzle, where all the pieces fit together in the circle of life but we human beings are making it into this wild game of Jenga.  If we don't change our ways and fix what we've done then it's all gonna come toppling down, society is on shakey ground, as human beings we are our own worst enemy & it's scary to think that we, who are in conflict with ourselves and each other, have the power to obliterate the planet (what is the atom bomb).  I watched a show on Discovery Something and it was about what would happen to the planet if humans were no longer on it and, in theory, the planet would bounce back and be better (after a brief period of imbalance).

I feel like we are getting so caught up in our technology and material that we are losing at life.  The essence of it; the feelings, emotions and the moments.  Do we even know what happiness or pleasure is? We seemed to always be out looking for more.  Bigger.  Better.  Every movie is the best movie of the year, sadder, gorrier, funnier.  The media makes us feel like if it's not more it's boring. Why does it have to be the best?  Why can't it just be funny and enjoyable?  It seems like if it's not the best, it ain't shit.

It seems like we struggle to even know what feelings are.  Do we even know what it is to love, to express love?  Or are we just mimicking what we hear about or see in the movies and do those things that the people who were in love did.  It's not the act that is love, it is the emotion that drove us to the act that is what is meaningful.  Once upon a super long time ago there was a man in love who gave the woman he loved a flower because it was so perfect and naturally beautiful but, in his eyes, it paled in comparison to the beauty of the woman he loved. (Or something poetic.) And now, a guy buys flowers because that's what women want. No, dumbasses, girlfriend wants love (and/or be the apple of his eye) and boyfriend wants to get laid (and/or not get bitched at).  I'm not saying it's not sweet and express love but more times than not they are contrived because they feel like that's what you are supposed to do but lack either the emotions or the ability to express their emotion.

I know people who have gotten married because they saw the ring.  I know people who have gotten married because they've been together for so long.  I know people who have gotten married because they don't want to be single.  I know people who have gotten married because time is ticking and they want to have babies already.  I know people who are still in relationships because there is nothing wrong even though there is nothing really right about their relationship either.  If you are in love you should be happy, not indifferent.

My mom and her boyfriend have been together for 15 years, she wants to get married because she "doesn't want to be alone" for the rest of her life.  Marriage is ensurance that he will not leave her tomorrow.  What I love about their relationship is that they have nothing keeping them together except love.  They are both financially independent, have their own lives and they are both attractive and have other offers (seriously, my mom gets hit on a lot.  What a disappointment when they see her daughter looks nothing like her.  Sorry fellas don't judge a daughter by her mama).  They are both easy going and affectionate.  Right now they are spending 2 weeks in Florida going fishing or whatever at his house out there.  I don't want marriage or a relationship, I want love. The rest follows.

Digress-aholicism.  Guilty.

Why do we continually seek more and better?  Why do we develop addictions?  Are addiction derived from unhappiness?  Doing something once or every now and again is fine but when it gets to the point where we do this something and return to our regular programing and all you are doing is looking for a distraction from your regular programmed schedule Houston, that's a problem.

I think we are taught, as a society to numb our emotions and fake feelings with how we think we should feel instead of feeling.  A lot of people will say that they are happy as an automatic response because in our black and white society you are either a happy person or a depressed person.  And if you are a depressed person you have failed somehow.

I feel like all around me are people living in worlds of denial.  They are so far disillusioned that they don't even know it because at this far into the game of life they don't want to know it.  It's just easier to keep playing because it's normal.

We are hurting our planet and ourselves with our sins of society.  It makes me sad that there is so much wrong with our society and it effects people on every level.  The government fucks us and we let them through our inaction.  There are power in numbers but our numbers seem to be preoccupied with Doritos and Tabloid Magazines, in other words, slowly killing themselves with delicious and inexpensive poisons and polluting their minds with frivolous distractions instead of the real issues.

I am powerless and sad.  I am guilty of indulging in distractions among other things because it's easier not to.  I don't even know anybody who knows much of anything about politics, I would have to learn and teach myself.  And I swear the government doesn't want us to know about it either, so they make it all super boring and use big words that most people don't know.  And then they keep things from us... ugh.

This has been bothering me for a long time; again, there is so much more going on in my mind on this subject that I can't pin down or articulate correctly and/or fully.  My mind is very web-like and it all connects... I just wish I were articulate enough to give a clear picture.

I applaud you and want to hug you if you actually read all of this, I'm quite the rambler.  And if you have any thoughts I would love to hear them even if you are criticizing me, that's fine too. 


  1. wow, seriously flushed, I think this post shuld be published. In every good seeling magazine. galmour,jolie,cosmopolitan, penthouse,the times they should ALL publish it to make as many people as possible read this!
    this is so true...

  2. I love this post. Once in a while it's nice to reflect on life and the world we live in and I really enjoy hearing the views of ther people. I especially love what you said about relationships and love.

  3. Love this.

    You are wise. I'm too tired to say anything else, I apologize for a less than awesome response to a more than amazing post! xx

  4. I agreed with everything you said. Especially the part about faking our emotions. Whenever someone asks me how I'm feeling, I wonder what they'll say if I reply that I feel like crap. Instead, I tell them that I'm fine because I know that's what they want to hear.

    It's easier to just keep playing because we wouldn't know what else to do otherwise.

  5. I concur (not necessarily conquer) with all your points. And they are very valid but as with modern society, they fall on deaf ears. People will applaud for your astute points and examine, for the next two minutes, their life.    Then they'll forget.

    As with all of your entries I enjoyed it. Guess I'm a lurker no more; I feel so exposed


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