Friday, March 12, 2010

Take It From Me Folks

It's Friday, I say this to you because sometimes I feel this need to state the obvious and pretend it's poetic.  (Pretend is clearly the operative word here.)

I've eaten a lot today, the bulk of which has been in vegetables which isn't bad.  Let's face it though, it's not exactly good either in the department of caloric restriction.  I'm at approximately 1,000 today (not all of it is veggies, maybe 1/2) and it's only 3 in the afternoon.

On Friday.

It's a scientific fact (in my own personal book of Scientific Facts) that minutes on Fridays are 87.12031% longer during the hours of wheneveryougetup until about 9 o'clock and then all of a sudden the planets do a little dance, make a little love and do a bootie bump with Earth, making it impossible to go to sleep at a decent hour.  It's very inconsiderate.  These selfish planets are completely insensitive to whether or not you have anything to do (nothing) or what ungawdly hour you got up in the morning (damn ungawdly).  Go ahead and try to defy the effers! Gi-gi-gi-Give it all you got! Gi-Give it all you got.  Workout, eat turkey all day, drink warm milk, do everything on your to-do list, put on your favorite jammy jams, some Kenny G., read a textbook and try, just try and fall asleep.  You can't.

Scientific Fact. It's Friday.

1,000 calories already and it's Friday.  Are you seeing now how this is problematic?  And because I'm an intelligent human being and not in the mood to take on the planets today I'm going to drink some coffee. I mean, who am I to get in the way of a good booty bump?  Exactly.  Coffee it is.

I've written countless hate letters to that old bastard the late and great Mr. Father Time to put an end to this Friday Freakishness and regulate on those Punk Ass Planets.  Perhaps my letters must have gotten lost in the mail.


  1. Lol. I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the way you wrote this. I love your blog, Flushed. And I hope it all worked out for you <3

  2. I loved this entry.

  3. Hahah. Your blog is wicked, whether it's humorous or serious, I love reading it.

    Also I hate it when you have reached the number of calories you previously agreed to consume at such an early hour in the day. The rest of the day just seems to stretch on and on and on... blah.

    Hope you're doing well though! Stay Strong and all that crap.


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