Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Thinking positively is just harder somedays.

Thinking positively is just harder somedays.

Tomorrow I have to go to court for my Unemployment Appeal that I
thought was resolved 2 months ago, talk about stress. It's going to be
a formal setting, right hand on the bible whole truth, state my case,
submit evidence and all that jazz. I also have to turn in the
autobiography and chapter exercises that I still need to work on and
polish up...
I can't even think right now. I don't want tomorrow to come, I want to
hide under the covers and camp out there until a better day comes to
take me away.

My brain is exhausted. I get very little rest. I don't know why. I
go to bed late, wake up a couple times a night and end up getting up
around 8 because I just can't sleep. Around 4 o'clock I feel this way
too but I force myself back to sleep...maybe read a few blogs if sleep
doesn't come.

And then there is being constipated despite all the overeating that
I've done. The scale is hating me. My body is hating me. There
needs to be a shift in mind again so I can lose again.

I'm exhausted. I'm tired of keeping down all this food I eat, though
I continue to do so. I have a knot in my neck. My room looks like a
tornado brought his friends over for a wild party while it's parents
were away. I'm not even sure if I have a pair of clean jeans for

I e-mailed the invitation design for my cousins girlfriends baby
shower and I'm waiting on the verdict... I'm terribly afraid that they
aren't going to like it.

I'm tired, did I mention that already?

I just want to have a peaceful sleep, dream wonderful dreams and wake
up bright early and everything be okay. BETTER THAN OKAY I want
everything to be better than I can even imagine tomorrow. Unicorns and
butterflies better!

Sent from my iPhone.


  1. I'm right there with you, lady.
    What a shitty week this has been.
    I need to tell my parents that I need to see a psychiatrist, and as my mind is beginning to deteriorate, I am steadily falling more and more behind on my schoolwork. FOL (fuck our lives)


  2. ohhh honey bunch I know what you mean. I want to curl up in bed, comfy and soft, sleep for hours in warmth and safety and wake up feeling fresh and happy. And not be bulimic. Just for a day.


    I have missed you since I have been away from my blogs. Toiling and binging and puking. I need to follow your blog because you have been in exactly the same place as me and now here you are doing INFINITELY better. I need to follow your example, draw inspiration from you. I will try not to stay away so long now.


  3. Grr...I want better than ok too. I want the world to stop spinning for one freaking second! I hate food, well I guess we all do. I'm sending the rest of my strength your way so that you can get through this week and get your head in order.


(or e-mail: FlushedAgain@gmail.com)