Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Old McDonald had a Farm.

This weekend is holiday weekend (read: bikini's & smorgasboard of moomoo junk food) also, next weekend is family reunion in Laughlin (read: bikini's & copious amts of alcohol).

Are you feeling any of this anxiety radiating from my fingertips and leaking itself into the internet?
I assure you it's at level: Nuclear Atom Bomb. Bikini's are scurry.

Seriously, bikini's affect my hearing. There are no words when I am wearing one all I hear are "moo"'s and the earth rumbling from every step I take. AND it's gonna be hotter than Satan's Vagina. Whose bright idea was it to go to the desert in muther effing Julyheatstroke weather? Not mine, my friends. Certainly. Not. Mine.

I don't want to go (can you tell? Yes. Just checking.) but "I'm fat, broke and I will melt onto the sidewalk and end up SunnySideUp by Sunday" is not what my mom considers a "Good Excuse" actually she believes it to not even qualify to be in the "Excuse" catagory. But I really don't think "my dog ate it" would work in this situation which is the only "good excuse" that I know. So I'll be dreaming up new ones for the next two weeks.


  1. haha, sorry, this post made me laugh, but I feel the same way, well, about swim suits in general, I haven't worn a bikini since I was 18 and even then I rarely took off the tank top or shorts I covered myself in.

    Just tell them you're allergic to the sun or terrified of skin cancer.

  2. Or tell them you get sun poisoning. Its real thing and I get it if I'm out the sun too much. :)
    You are a beautiful writer. Thanks for posting.


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