Tuesday, June 16, 2009

On a Scale of 1 to 10-what's 1? what's 10?

I was reading SkinnyBitch's latest post and reading the comments. Particularly, ra417's comment:

If you're not really anorexic (and it doesn't seem to me that you are....) then why don't you just EAT if you're trying to lose weight? It seems that you're doing this as a fad diet, the end goal of which is to lose weight..so logically you'd be better off just following a regular, healthy diet (at least 1200 calories) as that will actually help you take weight off and KEEP it off. When you starve yourself, the minute you start eating again you will gain weight, because it causes your metabolism to shut down.

People with actual anorexia are TERRIFIED of eating..but they want SO badly to be able to do it. (I'm a recovering anorexic) If you want to lose weight, wouldn't it make sense to do it in a way that's effective? If you CAN eat normally, do it, just eat sensibly and you'll lose weight.

I'm just really wondering, if you don't actually have the disorder, why starve yourself to lose weight when you know that you'll just put it back on?

This commenter has a point. Initially I was reminded of frame of mind and the behaviors of the anorexics in Wasted and Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self which in a nutshell is just what ra417 said (TERRIFIED of eating..but they want SO badly to be able to do it). But the more I this marinaded in my brain (I'm a thinker) (clearly.). I thought of the blogs I read, my own mindset and what is considered "normal" behavior/attitude, most of the blogs parading the "pro-ana" slogan may not be full fledged anorexics but are they not on their way?

When dieting becomes an obsession, when you are unable to see the reflection [of your body] in the mirror, when the mere thought of eating and food invokes even a mild anxiety-whether you want to eat it or not (like a health nut whispering in one ear and an anorexic in the other)- are these not stepping stones? I think we can all agree that this is not "normal" behavior.

Where is the line between the average dieter and an anorexic?
When it becomes an obsession?
But then what is classified as an obsession?

For me personally it's when something consumes your mind but some would argue it is when it affects your behavior or both. My point is each individual has their own perspective.

Life is black and white and red and yellow and blue....
life is all or nothing and a little of this and a lot of that,
it just depends on which way you're looking at it.

My sister just had a baby (girl!) and when asked, "on a scale of 1-10 how do your contractions rate?" and when she answered 8; jaws dropped, she was already dilated at 9. The doctors and nurses said that there are some woman who described their pain level at 11 and are screaming at the. top. of. their. lungs. when they are dilated a 1 or 2. I don't doubt the number they gave was genuinely what they felt but their perspectives [I imagine] differ greatly.

My sister was expecting and accepting of the pain (not to say that she wanted it just that she knew it was the reality of the situation that was unavoidable), she didn't dwell on the pain that passed and dread the pain about to come. I imagine the Incessant Screamer to do just that-dwell and dread, I imagine her wishing the pain away, not wanting to deal with it and thus increasing it's burden and amplifying the onslaught of agony.

But what do I know? This is just my little perspective. I haven't been hospitalized or even diagnosed with any kind of eating disorder. I haven't experience childbirth. I do not have a PhD, in medicine or psychology. I'm just your "average" girl with an opinion, a perspective and a blog.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go stick my fingers down my throat until I puke and puke until my stomach is as close to empty as I can manage.

1 comment:

  1. I agree that everything is on a spectrum, you can be anywhere between 1 and 10, but it doesn't make the feelings less real.

    I hate when people assume you don't have an ED just because your intensity is not equal to theirs.


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