Sunday, August 23, 2009

Still on the UpSwing...


So the date was really nice last night.

I wore a dress that he absolutely loved and I must say it was looking pretty good on me! By the time he picked me up I was ready, relaxed and on my "game". He could not stop compliment the dress and how great/beautiful/stunning I looked. I love it when boys lie :) hehe.

Also, I was receiving your comments on my iPhone during the date (he wasn't around while I was checking my e-mail obvy I have manners!) (sometimes...) and they were very motivating and put me at ease. Thank you!

He is totally fine with how I eat. Knows I'm a vegetarian and is way cool with it, he watches what he eats to and tries to eat healthy (he is really tall, lean, fit-goes to the gym). I ordered a Summer Salad dressing on the side and sans walnuts and only had a bite of the avocado and 2 pear ciders. (They're delishus, I just couldn't help myself!) Accompanied by water, of course (too tipsy is not charming).

Then over to Dave & Busters for some air hockey, racing, basketball, fun, fun!

Coffee and conversation then headed home.

He is so interesting, I really do enjoy spending time with him.

This feeling is... new and... different and... I'm not quite sure that I like it. Relationships scare me. Letting people "in" scares me. It's so much easier dating knuckle heads that nobody knows and staying comfortable inside my little ED (times are a-changin') bubble but this time everybody knows. We got "fixed up" at a family party. The day after our first date I got asked how it went by like 6 family members.

I'm a very private person and I'm just not good at relationships (hence, how little friends I have and none that are close).

(Okay, I'm a ScaredyCat! Whatev.)

I've typed a million different paragraphs on how and why and what I feel but what it all boils down to is me being pessimistic and trying to anticipate the future and fearing this worst case scenario imaginary outcome. So I'm just gonna treat it like Bulimia and take it one day at a time. One of my millions of thousands many New Years Resolutions this year was to live life more fully and make choices that make me happy with little regard of other peoples opinions (within reason, of course, I still have morals and values) (sometimes).

I worry and stress way too much over what other people think. I felt like everybody was looking me up and down and judging the hell out of me when we were on our date. Oh wait-we were in the OC- they were. But at least I felt good and thought I looked good (so he said...).

My aunt said that she could really see a difference in my body that I've slimmed down! OMG! I'm some amazing dream! Nobody pinch, I don't want to wake up! I pretty sure if I stay sleeping I'm gonna wake up Mrs. Beckham or something. (Grrrrrroooowwwwwllll....)

Well, I'm off to see the wizard... erm, or just go to bed cuz I got a big day tomorrow at SCHOOL. Wish me luck, I'm on waiting lists so it's not for sure yet whether I'm in any of my classes. But if it's meant to be, it will happen and if not this semester then I will try the next! If there is anything I've learned from the start of this blog until now it's PERSEVERANCE and POSITIVITY PAYS!


  1. Im soooo glad it went well!
    Knew it would, he sounds like a genuinly good guy :)

  2. aww dat sounds ledge! I know it seems easier to keep to urself but dont do it! get out there! have fun! u deserve it! xx



  4. I'm sure he didn't lie and you did look stunning. :) I'm so glad you had such a good time!

    I understand how you're scared by relationships though; i am too. Especially when it's someone everyone i know knows. I like my privacy.

    You seem like your lovely, happy self this post; i love it. Stay strong, dearie, and good luck with school tomorrow.

  5. Yay! I am super happy that your date went well.
    It definately sounds like a good time in my opinion.

  6. Thats great your date went well, and I'm pretty positive he wasn't lying. :)

    Have a great time at school, and I'm sure you'll make it in to atleast some of them.

    stay strong.

  7. live life more fully and make choices that make me happy with little regard of other peoples opinions

    My opinion is that this is a good opinion, lol.

  8. ah also rather a scardy cat when it comes to relationships lol

    but this guys sounds great your if he was lying i doubt he would have complimented you as much and mmm im so going veggie shopping tomorrow so i can make salad yum


  9. YAYYY <3
    I'm glad everything went well. He sounds really nice. Spend more time. Yah yah.

  10. Congrats! He sounds great. I totally understand your feeling of not wanting to let anyone in. I feel the same way. I'm a social butterfly to a point--then I don't want to let anyone too close. I am guarded and am trying to work on that. I can't imagine trying to live with a guy at this point in my life. My ED is too much a part of it....and I like my ED, it's me. Like you said, take it a day at a time. Enjoy!


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