Sunday, August 23, 2009
Still on the UpSwing...
AIN'T NO STOPPIN ME NOOOOW! I'M ON THE LOOSE!
So the date was really nice last night.
I wore a dress that he absolutely loved and I must say it was looking pretty good on me! By the time he picked me up I was ready, relaxed and on my "game". He could not stop compliment the dress and how great/beautiful/stunning I looked. I love it when boys lie :) hehe.
Also, I was receiving your comments on my iPhone during the date (he wasn't around while I was checking my e-mail obvy I have manners!) (sometimes...) and they were very motivating and put me at ease. Thank you!
He is totally fine with how I eat. Knows I'm a vegetarian and is way cool with it, he watches what he eats to and tries to eat healthy (he is really tall, lean, fit-goes to the gym). I ordered a Summer Salad dressing on the side and sans walnuts and only had a bite of the avocado and 2 pear ciders. (They're delishus, I just couldn't help myself!) Accompanied by water, of course (too tipsy is not charming).
Then over to Dave & Busters for some air hockey, racing, basketball shooting...fun, fun, fun!
Coffee and conversation then headed home.
He is so interesting, I really do enjoy spending time with him.
This feeling is... new and... different and... I'm not quite sure that I like it. Relationships scare me. Letting people "in" scares me. It's so much easier dating knuckle heads that nobody knows and staying comfortable inside my little
ED (times are a-changin') bubble but this time everybody knows. We got "fixed up" at a family party. The day after our first date I got asked how it went by like 6 family members.
I'm a very private person and I'm just not good at relationships (hence, how little friends I have and none that are close).
(Okay, I'm a ScaredyCat! Whatev.)
I've typed a million different paragraphs on how and why and what I feel but what it all boils down to is me being pessimistic and trying to anticipate the future and fearing this
worst case scenario imaginary outcome. So I'm just gonna treat it like Bulimia and take it one day at a time. One of my millions of thousands many New Years Resolutions this year was to live life more fully and make choices that make me happy with little regard of other peoples opinions (within reason, of course, I still have morals and values) (sometimes).
I worry and stress way too much over what other people think. I felt like everybody was looking me up and down and judging the hell out of me when we were on our date. Oh wait-we were in the OC- they were. But at least I felt good and thought I looked good (so he said...).
My aunt said that she could really see a difference in my body that I've slimmed down! OMG! I'm some amazing dream! Nobody pinch, I don't want to wake up! I pretty sure if I stay sleeping I'm gonna wake up Mrs. Beckham or something. (Grrrrrroooowwwwwllll....)
Well, I'm off to see the wizard... erm, or just go to bed cuz I got a big day tomorrow at SCHOOL. Wish me luck, I'm on waiting lists so it's not for sure yet whether I'm in any of my classes. But if it's meant to be, it will happen and if not this semester then I will try the next! If there is anything I've learned from the start of this blog until now it's PERSEVERANCE and POSITIVITY PAYS!