Thursday, February 4, 2010
Everyday is Another Day
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I was reading Meg's blog and it hit me that this Sunday is SuperBowl, which is like America's Official Day of [no-hold-bar] Junk Food! I think we can [almost] all agree (depending on how football luvin' your friends/family are), in which case, I'm fuckaroo'd... if I were going to be in town, that is. I'm going a few hours up north to visit family and I'm hoping that we'll be on the road and I can avoid the Fatty Food Festivities. Granted, the social aspect of it would be super duper fun but apparently, in my disordered and waif wanting torment, avoiding the devilish delites deheavys drowns out the former.
Anyway, let's hope for the best. Although, I'm just gotta go ahead and toot my own horn (I've said it before and I will say it again: my blog, my rules!!) (except maybe that part where this is a blog on Blogger and they can actually shut this bee-yotch daaoowwwn should they hear a complaint and disapprove)
Back to what's really important- tooting my own horn.
I have made it (mostly) through December, through all of January and through February (so far) without purging, granted, there was yesterday when I desperately wanted to but I didn't. One [nay-sayer] might say that it's because I lacked opportunity but you know what! A day without a purge is another day without a purge - and that's poetry yall. I guess the purge wasn't meant to happen, I even exercised some self restraint and didn't demolish all my food and act like a gluttonous big. One [nay-sayer] might say it's because I had to save face in front of my peer (who all happened to be cute and thin) and my teacher (who has a PhD and a Bachelor's in Psychology) but. Do. You. Know. What? In the throws of Bulimia Oblivion, I've had lesser moments where it's just me and food. But not yesterday, Noooooo, yesterday with 18 courses of fancy fatness flirttery looking at me all sexy-like I was strong, I was flexing my muscle of self-controlling and pretending to be like A Normal Person who doesn't constantly think about forcing what's going down to come back up. For dinner I had a protein bar (my meal lacked any real source) and I didn't want to end up all crazy-hungry and binge when I got home. Look at me, all making Healthy(ish) Decisions!
(Okay, that was not poetry, more like some really bad Bulimia Proverb or something but let's pretend, shall we?)
Sometimes I catch myself think, okay, I've gone long enough, I've persevered in trying situation, I totally have control of this. I can recover. No biggie if I b/p because, I can overcome if I want to... I'll just b/p until I get skinny and the POOF! Recover!