Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Silver Lining the Dark Cloud

Day 3 success!  I weighed in at 117.5 this morning which I'm pretty happy about.  117 has been the lowest my scale has read but I did sustain this weight but I'm eager to see lower.  I'm continuing another day on the liquid fast and see what numbers turn up tomorrow.  I want to keep this up until Saturday then perhaps on Sunday I will eat something sensible and easy on the digestive track (I'll have to google this later).  I have heard that it can be really hard on your digestive system to eat very much after a fast and I definitely neeeeed to maintain whatever weightloss happens.

Yesterday my intake was basically the same as the previous day only with an added 100% Green Essentials drink from Trader Joe's.  If you want to drink something delicious and nutritious skip it because while nutritious, the drink was not delicious.  It basically taste like all it's green ingredients (celery, cucumbers, spinach, kale, etc.) I had to wash it down with a v8.

Bodywise, I'm still feeling nourished and fine.  I try and forget the past and think one drink at a time.  If I start thinking about all the things I could have eaten and haven't I start feel a craving for food, it's like stirring the food monster when he's asleep.  I just focus on my drink as my meal and think, wow, all these nutrients and protein to satisfy my body, I'm so not even hungry!  I'm gonna be so skinny!  On to class.

Lying to yourself works more often times than not.

In other news, I can feel some fever blisters stirring beneath the skin of my lip.  It's so depressing, I hate them.  It's so irritating because I just don't know wtf causes these mother effers!  I suppose it could be stress, I have yet to write anything for the essay whose rough draft is due in like 6 hours nor have I done the exercises for chapter 4 of the class that's in 1 hour.  I so fucked myself by going up north this weekend and not taking advantage of the time I had alone to do schoolwork.  I'm not happy with myself.

And the cherry on the pie is the disastrous state of my room.  Seriously, it makes me feel like shit to walk in there.  I hate that I accept this, this, doing nothing I'm so lazy.  Instead I focus my energies on reading blogs?  This is something I should be doing on FREE time, as in the excess time that I have after I get the important things done.  I always just think that I'll only read one or it'll just be a quick update post and then off I go reading all of them until they are no more and then click-click in google land, googling random shit that doesn't matter.

Where is my focus?  I have none.  Not for school or cleaning... I hate this about me.  I wish I was a different person sometimes but then I guess I would just be set up with a different package of weakness and an onslaught of new obstacles.

How did this post get so depressing?  I dropped like 4.5 pounds! I completed 3 days of liquids only! I'm onto my 4th day!

Now. I'm looking at you Homework.


  1. Haha, I'm totally the same way with the failure to prioritize. Here I am reading blogs, commenting and posting my own, when I should be printing up drafts of poetry for class and going to the gym to work off the hideous bagel I had for lunch. And my ROOM!!! Don't even get me started. Yes, it does add to your overall stress level when the place you inhabit most is totally trashed. But I feel not the slightest bit of energy to clean it when I DO have free it's obviously not THAT important to me...right?

    Heh, good job on your amazing liquid fasting. I really ought to look into that, as it seems to be providing you with excellent results while still keeping your body healthy. Awesome! (I'd kill for 117...shit... here I am at 133 and ugh...eating!)...

    Hope you're well! Take care, and stay lovely. <3

  2. I'm so behind on my college work! And I just signed up for ANOTHER program in addition to the one I'm in- ew.

    I don't have the energy or the drive to clean or do my homework. i just want to veg and watch cooking shows on Tv. my guilty pleasure.

  3. Good job with the fast, lover!
    I hope to be 117 by next week.
    You're fabulous, and I'm jealous!

  4. I was only going to liquid fast for one day, but this morning I STILL feel fabulous, so I'm gonna go right ahead and make it 2!. One day at a time.

    You were spot on about forgetting the previous days of fasting. I fall into this trap too. Once you look back it can seem like forever since you've eaten and it get's distressing feeling as though you have to live like this all the time. But all those foods you could have eaten... you still KNOW what they would have tasted like, how ultimately unsatisfying they would have been. Losing weight will never be unsatisfying!


  5. I'm the same exact way. It happens with everyone. In my defense, I do
    have ADD that I'm on meds for but I don't take them as much as I should. Congratulations on dropping the weight!! Stay strong.

  6. OK... I just have to say it... "one drink at a time" LMAO. Actually YOU said it. Too cute! I am such an alkie, and I love puns.

  7. I've never commented before but I am interested in doing this liquid fast too! I was thinking 2 special k protein shakes a day and 2 V8s a day. What do you think?

  8. I think reading blogs is addicting or something. Once you've started, there's just no stopping--mwahahaha! Ok, sorry about the random outburst. Lol.
    Anyway, great job on your liquid fast! What kind of protein shakes do you use? All the ones i see are so high in calories that i'd feel bad drinking them.


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