Monday, September 14, 2009

I'm tired.

I'm tired.

I think I may be getting sick. My throat has been weird for the past
week and I'm beyond tired. I'm not as on top of things that I'd like
to be.

My room needs cleaning which is affecting my want to work out (cuz
there's no room for my fatass). The kitchen is a wreck which is
affecting my ability to study (messes distract me) and the way I eat.
I like a clean kitchen, not dishes in the sink. Not random stuff
strewn about the counters. My mom is so messy, it's driving me crazy.

I'm exhausted.

I haven't been commenting on anybody's blog.

Bingeing and purgeing is sounding more and more enticing. I was
considering it last night. It just sounded like it would be so good.
Stuffed and then empty. So good. So bad.

But I'm so afraid of gaining weight. I feel wretched for eating so
much and so late this past week. I feel wretched for eating close to
800 calories.

I'm so tired I just want to sleep, Sleep, SLEEP!

Sent from my iPhone.


  1. hang in there girly! life is hard but u can pull thru this. Im missing ur comments loads. I need u! xx

  2. Aww. I'm sorry. Hope you can get some sleep soon, cuz i'm sure you'll feel a lot better once you do. Stay strong, sweetheart!

  3. Anonymous14.9.09

    800 calories is amazing - finding a balance between maintenance and restriction is the hardest part! and you've come so far, it would be silly to give in to the urge to BP now... but you already knew that. dont let yourself convince yourself that you arent in control. xx

  4. Lulu is spot on. She and I are all too familiar with the ease of giving in to the binge purge demons. It NEVER feels as good as you think it will. EVER. It's so easy to convince yourself it will make you feel better, but try to remember how bad it makes you feel after, without exception.

    Hang in there!

  5. I agree with the above posters. Even after a purge you still won't feel better. You'll be much happier with yourself if you just resist. Take some time to make yourself feel better. You'll be glad you did <3

    Think thin!



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