Food Fest Five Thousand: Day 3 (w/a whopping side of sarcasm)

So I thought today that in lieu of restricting (which would inevitably lead to FAIL) I decided that I was going to eat like a "normal person". And this stroke of genius, this brilliant decision led to (all together now): Failure. 

Story of my life? Maybe. But Idon'twannatalkaboutit.

In efforts (strenuous efforts) to break free from my "Negative Nancy" shell and find some silver lining to these dark leastest (screw you Webster, it's a word in MY dictionary) light, fluffy clouds in the sky I thought it would be nice to list all the pleasantness that this weakend weekend has brought to me:

• Brownies! That failed my attempts of purgery and I freaked out about.
• Bring the family together! Who I wanted to ditch so that I could not be around a smorgasboard of food and/or purge properly (or something).
• Fireworks! That we can only hear but NOT SEE from my home.
• ...

So yeah, there you have it. My silver-ish lining. Or something. 

That's right friends, it's all bad decisions and remorse butterflies and ladybugs over here. Lovely day in the neighborhood; and d'y'know what the BEST part is? 

It's 3 o'clock! 

That means there's still like a WHOLE day still to go. And more people will come to hang out. And (hang on to your seats ladies!) MORE food to be made taunting me! I just can't contain my anxiety excitement! 

What a joy these holidays bring. It just makes me want to binge smile and purge smile and go dig myself a hole frolick in a field of flowers and die sing with the birds! 

Ugh. Break over. Back to the Lions Den.

/endsarcasm.

I hope everybody is having a nice holiday weekend!