Sunday, July 12, 2009

It's not too late

So I started the day off bad. More than bad, frankly but not horrendous I had:
  • nectarine
  • oatmeal w/blueberries (twice-boo!) 
    • (rolled oats, Splenda, blended fresh blueberries-I don't do the packetty ones)
  • salad w/avocado & cheese, salsa dressing 
    • (I usually just have plain salad iceberg, carrots, cabbage with salsa on top)

It's 8:37 in the aye em. [sad face]

Separately it would have been okay (<-- term used loosely) but this early in the morning(?!) good grief (Charlie Brown styley). 

Oddly though I still feel in control (mostly) just y'know Bad Decisions. 
My body was missing something which I know causes an insatiable appetite (enter: the binge). I've lacked protein, calcium (cheese) and healthy fats (avocado). And I've been having some serious Alligator lips lately which dry skin is typically from the lack of fat consumed (sadly there is no lack of it in my body. grrr). 

(Fun Fact: You know you lack calcium when you don't have that little white half moon thingy at the base of your nail beds.)

Anyhoodle, I'm not giving in to the whole unflattering b/p act today (not today: baby steps) I just need to be better and more conscious of what I consume for the rest of it. I have a softball game at two and then I'm going to visit my lil niece and Sis after. I'm hoping it's not sweltering hell heat degrees out like it was 2 weeks ago when I was melting(!) on the field. Hydratin' is gotta be the name of the game t'day!

I'm hopeful that today will be good. My body is armed with fruits, veggies, healthy fats, oats, calcium & a smidgen of protein which I think (*fingers crossed*) will keep me stable and keep crazy cravings at bay. Before the game maybe grapefruit and plain salad w/salsa (seriously --> salsa = best. dressing. evER!)

And probably copious amounts of coffee (w/Splenda only)
Jitter-Jitterbug: GO!

Going back to my old fruits and veggies habits which works best for me because if I eat too much it's THAT bad y'know?  Volumetrics or something? And hello they're delish. (And too much is not as much as when I go for the junk--or bread. Bread, toasty bread espesh, is my Achilles Heel.) 
The only downside is it's notsocheap but I'm over it. I'm so miserably fat that it's worth it losing weight will be worth it espesh if it boost morale and gets me out of this killmenow state that I'm in. 

Oh yeah and sitting & breathe w/jeans buttoned simultaneously(!): PRICELESS. 

(comfortably is bonus points)

(baby steps.)


  1. ALL HEALTHY THINGS TO EAT!!! Glad you decieded not to purge!! because it is a decision, you know, you made the right choice. You decieded to fuel your body so that you would have energy to fuel your body during your soft ball game. I know you are trying to lose wieght but about just trying to stop the bulmia with no wieght limits attached to it, youll be suprized at how your body settles it out at its set point when you are not useing behaviors. I know its hard to let go of the control WE NEED to feel over our bodys but when we do its a freeing feeling ( so I am told :) )

    Good luck on the rest of your day

    Love, Z

  2. Fruit and veg are my saviours as well. When I'm really struggling, I basically allow myself to eat as much raw fruit and veg as I want, but eliminate everything else. It is pretty difficult to go overboard and you stay full. The... um... flatulence is a little unsettling though... :/

  3. me 2! fruits and veg are actually phenominal! my body now craves them and even if I binge its on fruits and veg so it can never be that bad bc they are so gud for u! can I ask do u have ne rules with ur fruit and veg intake or fruits and veg u avoid?! I tend to go over board like?!

  4. I totally just checked my nails!! :)


(or e-mail: