being good begins (damage control). Already a boat load of fruit,
grilled veggies and a spinach salad (with feta and mozzarella cheese)
has crossed my lips. 10 minutes until noon.
All alone in the home with leftovers in the fridge and I'm losing my
mind (well losing MORE of it).
It's picking a poison. I want to tell myself that to just not eat for
the rest of the day but then I worry that I will fail so I may as well
binge a little and purge it. But then how will my body react to
attempting a purge. My tummy has been very resistant those last two
days when I've tried to but maybe it was because I was afraid of
getting caught, anxious to hurry up and get it out and wasn't able to
do it the usual way lots of food/water/TIME.
Which I have right now. Undo the damage of the cheese. Succumb to the
weaknesses of the food that taunts me.
I try and tell myself to be strong like I read about on your blogs.
And I try to remember the time when I was more in control and
disciplined like you ladies but that was before Bulimia happened. It's
the worst thing I could have ever done to myself. If you ladies are
unable to throw up thank your lucky stars (or something) it sick and
takes over your mind and changes eating forever.
Sent from my iPhone.