Sunday, July 19, 2009
Right now I can't do it "healthy", I freak because I'm fat. Once I drop 10 pounds my mind will be more stable.
In other words, once I am able to fit in my clothes and look in the mirror without cringing and see the number on the scale without wanting to burst into tears THEN perhaps attempts at "healthy" will be possible.
But right now: no. I'm sorry, just No.
My attempts at "healthy" lead to the above which is misery and it's just not gonna happen. So fukit I'ma do what I want to do and right now I just want to focus on dropping 10 el bees. I hate this weight. It's unbearable.